Coping with the emotions of loss, grief and guilt might plague the birthparents after placing an adoption. Usually, adoption is the last resort of birthparents that do not have the capacity of giving the child a better life. This is a different type of emotion that birth parents have to go through. In the first phase after the adoption placement, this is the time where deep sorrow dwells in the birthparents, and for some may even continue to haunt them. What are some of the ways to help cope with this ordeal?
Even if the decisions that you have made were based on facts, it would still not lessen the feeling of guilty that you may be experiencing. But there are still some ways to at least not blame all the misfortunes on you.
• Talking to a fellow birthparent that has undergone the same processes would really help. In this way, you can create a support system that will help you get through this ordeal. Learn from their own experiences and how they turned this life-changing event into a positive one.
• Acknowledge the feeling of sadness. This is a normal phase that all birthparents have to go through.
• If you do not know someone who is in the same situation as you are, the Internet provides a list of support groups that could cater to your needs and experiences. Finding the perfect support group will really help you along the way. You just have to choose wisely, because some support groups cannot provide exactly what you need.
Finding the appropriate support group is your first step to a journey of life that is guilt free. Sometimes, in an open adoption, knowing that your child is in good hands of the foster parents may very well decrease the guilt feeling.
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