The question of how much an adoptee costs usually arises if you have adopted an adult. Unlike with the case of adopting a child in the very early years where the arrangement can be kept a secret, adult adoptee will very well raise this question from time to time.
Should the adopting family reveal to the adoptee the cost of the adoption arrangement? What if the arrangement was done with a discounted price, how will the foster parents tell it to the child without making the child think that he was ‘on sale?’ Most adoptees are put at a cheaper price if they are bi-racial or if the child has special needs. A bi-racial baby costs cheaper than a bay who is born of a single race. The knowledge of this however can be devastating to an adoptee. This discounted system is still prevalent since many families are still supporting it.
How to spill the beans without hurting the adoptee
If the parents cannot avoid revealing this information to the adult adoptee, it would be wise to address the issue in a manner that would not lower the adoptee’s self-esteem. If you were to say to an adoptee that you got him at a discounted rate because he was cheaper than others would have a devastating effect. It is best to say that the adoptee was chosen because of the financial status of the adopting family. In this way it would be easier for the adult adoptee to accept the arrangement. As the adopted child grows, he will soon search for answers or information on his identity. Especially if the adoptee reads information about adoption, certain issues like this are unavoidable. It is best to deal with it in a manner that would not make them feel worthless.
Recent Comments